January 2024/DCRecap

Preface

I guess in 2024 I’m continuing to force myself to write ‘write’ a post every month. What was the point of this? To practice “putting myself/my writing ‘out there’”, right?

Ok.

For this month, it’s just going to be the Note I wrote on my phone to day of the DC march. (I know I can’t help myself, so any thoughts/commentary or clarification I’m adding now, after-the-fact will be in italics.

Again, no editing for grammar, etc. because I’m not getting paid for this shit.

Context

I signed up with a local masjid near me to take a bus to DC for the protest. I went by myself because I wanted to be alone. I never been to this masjid before. I was sweating like a whore in church because I for all intensive purposes, I was just that. [Huh. Apparently, it’s ‘for all intents and purposes’.] The other important bit of info is that I was high. Still high. Not purposefully high. I don’t want anyone to think I didn’t take this protest seriously; it was very important to me. The night before was a Friday and I usually treat myself after the work week because my life is fucking boring. My tolerance has been a bit wonky lately so I did more than usual thinking it wouldn’t do much or get to where I usually like to be. Also, I could have also not been high and was just anxious I was so my mind was racing and I took that as being high. (If I wasn’t worried about having to catch the next morning and possible being high when I wake up as it tends to happen when I get too high, I maybe (50/50 chance) could have enjoyed the body high I always want but rarely feel.)

I stopped feeling high about two hours into the drive. Most of what was written in my notes app with the title ‘Still High I think’ is from standing and waiting in the masjid for the bus to come up until the drive there. (The last few one liners I wrote down that I will probably elaborate on in sec were written during the protest as moments I wanted to remember because they were interesting or funny.)

Debating on whether or not I should include the pictures I took. At one point, I decided my goal was to document, so I kinda want to show my findings and some of them are just funny.

Still high I think

Wellness/natural/healthy/simple ingredients/organic people not quite fully outwardly denounces science: there was a study 💕

[That was an idea for a sketch.]

Religion is so bad for ocd

On way to protest, trying to suss out if this older white man and woman with a plain white sign that says cease fire now on a plain wooden stick are undercover. I swear it’s not bc I’m high. It’s truly something that could and DOES happen

Update: don’t think he is. Seems sweet. Said went to last protest and didn’t have sign so brought one this time. It’s raining so he has it in a garbage bag.

Aww he said he’s Muslim but not… assume he said Arab

Muslims are so nice. I love when non Muslims realize this. We’re/they’re just people ffs

Why am I not approachable. Is it bc I’m on my phone writing all this? My face???

Do I just sorely miss community in general? I’m feeling nostalgic in this building.

Muslims /Arabs who act black are interesting. Same with those who love expensive things/show off being rich /want to come off as rich or having money

Muslims are so nice and generous. Maybe it’s just my fam and the Arabs I grew up around that are crazy and judgemental

I covered my mouth when I yawned. That should indicate to them that I was raised Muslim

The market for Pali merch is HOT RN

Documentary to be shown is racist, all white (southern) towns/people are are outspoken about hating Muslims. Interview Muslims, showing answers that make them human/just like everyone else. Recreate that docucmentsry with white people and advertise it as a doc about good white people. Start to play ‘real’ doc with exact editing and things people say but with the real people who said them.

Even recreate candid film and at first say they’re Christians and gathered for Christian gathering

[Redacted because it’s my idea for a documentary so obviously I can’t get just write it willy-nilly on the internet because it’s an amazing idea.]

Fuckkkk I’m still high. This whole time I think I’ve interacted a lot with everyone around me but it’s all been in my head!!!!

They prob aren’t perceiving me like I’m l receiving them!

Listening to Ethel Cain on the bus to dc thinking about the dichotomy of my life and what I know. White Americans and arab/Muslims. Wrote this while he’s reciting some travel prayer I can’t understand. He talk about setting intention for why we are going. [That’s] A Very spiritual non religion thing too. I put on my headphones bc I thought he was gonna say something important about logistics but it was just a prayer

Nonfiction/personal essay idea: taking a looking at Ethel Cain as an Pali Arab American ex Muslim.

Realization: I shouldn’t feel bad about relating more to Western culture. First of all, it’s what I grew up with. That’s extremely hard to shake. I also grew up with Arab/Muslim culture which is why that’s also been very hard to shake.

I don’t have racist, discriminatory or Islamophobic views so no one should have a problem with me being not being fully invested and dedicated to Arab/Muslim culture. Just because I’m not, doesn’t exactly mean I serve western white supremacy ideology and Islamophobia and xenophobia

[I thought it funny I listening to this song with those lyrics while around conservative religious people and they have no idea.]

Someone sent a link to a very… I’ll be nice and say stupid. A video with the very stupid title of soemthing along the lines that Palestinians suffer bc it’s part of god’s ‘divine wisdom’. (Actual title is ‘suffering of Palestinians chosen by god’s divine wisdom’) what kind of fuck up thinking is that? If it’s ‘god’s plan’ for Palestinians to suffer ethnic cleansing and genocide then who are we to get in the way? Is that not what you say when someone feels down about their life? God has a plan and you have to trust it will all work out? So shouldn’t we should just trust god will free Palestine? Why did he do this in the first place? If he’s all knowing and all powerful, why torture paliestines like this? Is it a test of everyone not in Palestine? A test for Muslims to work together to make the world a free safe place? Bullshit. Then he’s making Palestinians suffer for our benefit, to show our worth our worth as ‘Muslims’ is that you’re saying.

[This kind of shit is why people hate religion. What kind of absolute bullshit is this? Even if not all religious people think this, it’s a type of thinking that people who believe in god apply to shit and it’s just dumb as fuck and does not make them or god look good.]

Someone was sending lots of vids like this ^ and they changed the group chat to admin only. Also, I didn’t watch that video yet but my initial thoughts are that it’s stupid and hypocritical because there are also double standards in religion they prob won’t/don’t acknowledge

[Fuck Piers Morgan, but it just annoyed because so many arguments made my religious people are just so fucking stupid and really highlights their blind spots.]

In the flightless bird hot dog episode, David tell [fell]into a capitalism trap! He said it was backed by ‘big meat’ then continued to interview the president of the hot dogs and sausage council and take his word when he dispelled a common hot dog

‘Myth’? I feel bad bc I really like him but president hot dog is not a trustworthy source to report on. (He mentioned Raw Dog which is on my to-read list. If she writes about the manufacturing of hot dogs being as sketchy, then he either didn’t read the whole book or ignored that part.) I will figure all this out at one point and report back except this seems too niche for anyone to care?

Update: toward the end he says he knows he can’t trust big meat as the transition into him asking hot dog president if he thinks a hot dog is a sandwich.

I think I’m overreacting. Maybe I just wanted David to grill him.

I don’t see them

Snipers mom said. You’re not supposed to see them

[A bit of a convo I overheard]

Lgbt against the violence, it’s weird

[Another overheard convo this time between two young Arab guys. One was telling the other about how the LGBTQIA+ community is against the violence/genocide and how he thinks it’s weird (that they are dedicated to the cause is what I think he was implying.) Felt like he was implying because he/other Arabs and Muslims don’t agree/accept them so why would they stand up for us. I remember thinking he was sooooo close to the point, but it was nice to see people are starting to think about these things. LGBTQIA+ people have been major allies since October. More than Arab governments who have the power to help but don’t. I hope Arabs/Muslims are seeing this. I’ve been really impressed that majority of the LGBTQIA+ community can see through the pink washing on the other side. ]

Threw water bottle

[When we made it to the White House and were waiting for the rest of the people to catch up, someone threw an empty water bottle over the gate onto the White House lawn. I was kinda surprised it was that easy and nothing happened to the person who threw it. I don’t know what I expected, but it seemed really ballsy and I like the disrespect behind it.]

Pad bag

[This was really fucking funny. While standing in front of the white house, there was a tiny group of the white-feminist-pink-pussy-hat kind of liberals and they had a Ziploc bag of pads and I think their intention was to have it passed around crowd so anyone who needed it could take one, but I don’t think she explain it and just wanted it to one of two hijabis standing near them (and in front of me) and the girl was so weirded out and had no idea what to do with the pad bag, let alone want to touch it or be seen handing it around. After she a few moments she just handed the bag back to her. It was very funny. I understand the intention, but like, still not the right moment and not at all a common thing.]

HERE ARE MY PICTURES!!!!

A++ sign, probably one of the best I saw.

When I say this guy was hyped, I mean like absolutely losing it. You can tell he loooooved all the attention. Happy to see him though.

This was such a beautiful flag, so elegant.

Not blaming or shaming him, it’s probably just a random backpack from home he grabbed… I just think it’s funny that it’s Puma.

I love my Irish lads.

Stickers were everywhere. I loved it.

The only picture I took, but this was of journalist and Gaza Press hero Wael Dahdouh who was speaking to us live.

Sign says ‘They tried to bury us. They didn’t know we were seeds.’

Idk why, but for some reason I thought it was maybe part of Jimmy Buffett’s Margaritaville?? Turns out it’s from some anime.

Being watched 😊

I found just holding up a watermelon to be funny.

The guy sitting was drinking from a large bottle and ranting or complaining about something. The only word I caught was ‘murder.’

Of course there was some asshole with a mic and speaker taking about jesus and the bible. I had the feeling he does this regardless, and it wasn’t just because the protest was happening.

It really annoys and infuriates me to see people standing on the outside just filming the protest. I just feel like a caged animal they’re gawking at. I know it’s probably just a self-conscious thing, but I really hate it, so I started to take pictures of bystanders who were filming/taking pictures of us.

THIS IS MY ALL-TIME FAVORITE PICTURE I TOOK. WHERE IS MY PRIZE?? She just looks so disgusted that all these people are out here ruining her day and whatever event she’s dressed up for. Like all this is severely inconveniencing her. I love it.

Love to see it.

Sikhs were there for us too.

Thank you, random woman.

Kinda made me sad that they were something in this tiny gap. Like they have to capitalize on every single inch?

Some old, evil white man who worked for/represented the St. Regis was being a real asshole. You could see hatred and disgust in his eyes ass he watched the protest and had workers surrounding him. I think he was making sure no one stepped foot on the property. I think people were calling him a Zionist. A guy was yelling at him, the old white man just stared at him and quietly spoke to a cop. The cop automatically went over to the guy to get him to back away. Didn’t blur out the cops faces because fuck all cops. They were real assholes that day. Pepper sprayed a woman then laughed at her. Another guy was yelling at them asking if they were going to help him find his phone. (I don’t know if a cop took it or something?) He yelled ‘suck my dick’ at them and trusted. It was great.